Ebba Katherine adopted from Colombia
I will not disappear from this blog forever but I needed a new blog there I can write about me and my hobbies such as photography, Gym and my feelings about life in general. I will return to this blog to write when I need to talk about adoption or Colombia.
The new blog is http://nouw.com/ebbakatherine
I’m here. Many things happened in my life and I’m thinking about a new start since I want to change focus on my blog and write in Swedish. I’m aware that blogs isn’t a thing anymore but I need to write. I like photos and you will see my photos on ekphotographies on instagram. Honestly writing is my passion as well.
I can’t escape the fact that I’m adopted but I think I needed to write more about that as a therapy, now I’m more comfortable with having a beautiful family in Colombia.
If I start a new blog I will link it here, if not you can follow my Instagram.
Goals are important for your mental health, if you don’t have any goals the risk is to lose the point with life. Any goal is important, a goal for the month, for some years and for the whole life. I didn’t have any short goals only the typical children when I’m 30 and a house but let’s face it, five years is so far away. Except my training goals I’ve got a new goal. To save money to a dog, a third life to take care of and it is a preparation for children. I will try to save money so I can buy a dog next year and I’m so excited.
Do you know when I found my birth family why I started to search ? It was because I was bored in school (seriously do I have any diagnos ?) and I was curious about my roots. The third thing was that I had her name in my brain all the time so I thought why not.
Do you know why I started to search for my sisters birth family? the same thing. I was curious, too curious because it may not be my thing to do.
Then in this Sunday I got curious because my boyfriend wondered about the childhood of their great grandmother so I searched and found a whole book about the history of that family, yesterday I also found some third cousins or fourth cousins to the family on facebook and now when I found them I’m so curious about the history of my mom and dads side of the family. I also want to find out more about the colombian family but it is harder.
Maybe that is my passion in life, to search for family history.
So you saw the post I wrote five years ago, some things is like I thought. I have met the man of my life, my brother has a great job, my sister graduated with good grades and I have no children.
It feels lika I have set some unrealistic goals, at least I’m studying to a kindergarten teacher and I will buy a dog soon.
So now I will write a post to my future self.
I was talking with my friend about one thing when we went out with the dogs, She wrote a letter to herself three years ago and she got it back yesterday. So I started to wonder how my life is going to be when I’m 25. So why not write it here so this post with publish now and when I’m 25.
When I’m 25 I think I will work on a kindergarten or maybe I’m a teacher, in another city but not far from here like Malmö, Gotemburg or Kalmar. I like these cities very much. And I hope I’ll make it so my brother Jhon can come and visit me in Sweden because then he will understand how my life is in Sweden, maybe my whole family will come to Sweden. I’m dreaming about writing for a magazine so maybe I will have something published there. Family and love? well I hope I have met someone I can live the rest of my life with and have children with, I don’t expect myself to have children in five years, but I can always hope. And I hope that I have travelled and seen more than europe, maybe Cuba, Mexico, USA, Argentina, China, South Africa and Marocko. During this time (2020) my sister had graduated with good grades I hope, and If I know my brother right I thinks he’s working in a successful company. And Pipe is a young little boy with a caring family and sister.
I hope I stay in shape, have my drivers license and own a cat or dog. And I hope I’m not living that typical Swedish- lifestyle. I want to be more international.
I’ve got a crisis. Yesterday it was my dad’s 60 birthday and in 3 months I’m 25. 25 guys! I am still studying but with a great extra work. It feels like I should do something more. I asked my mom and they got married 4 years from their engagement so I feel like we don’t have to hurry with that, it feels pretty good to just be engaged for a while. I’m thinking about children, when is the right time to make my mom and dad to a grandma and grandpa? Yes I know I need to wait because I can’t have a child when I’m studying, but what if its too late then 😱
So I have been traveling in Sweden again, this time to some friends and to my parents where my siblings also are. Since covid made people working from home, my brother went to my parents to hang out with friends and work and my sister lives there.
Today is my fiancés birthday and I was so excited this morning that I woke up early. It’s so hard for me to keep a secret because I am too excited.
I am at my mom and dad. It is something special with that because we have so much to talk about and I can’t stress here. I am happy that my parents taught me how to behave socially. Not because the introvert young me needed it but because adult Ebba finally know how to discuss things that may be a popular topic, not about your personal life (hate to talk about me with people I don’t feel 100% secure with, don’t know why). It is interesting to listen to people’s thoughts and opinions and to see if you think differently or alike.
Thanks because my discussing family I can be fake extrovert and adapt myself to different situations.
Okay I guess I need to sleep now because I’m tired.
Yesterday I had a panic attack. Actually I’m used to it and I’m used to fighting with taking control over my thoughts. The scariest thing is when you lose the control about something that should be easy. I’m very happy that I have my fiancé by my side who does everything to make me laugh and come out of the panic bubble.
I have an issue, that is that I am always going 100% into something that I like do or 0%. There are no 50% or 30%. If I want legs with huge muscles I don’t want it in a year, I want it tomorrow. If I want to read a book, I need to read it in one day or non at all. If I try to do it 30% I lost my motivation.
So yeah, I was stressed about eating healthy, clean the clothes and go to the gym. Today I am trying to push away the thoughts that is stressing me and just focus on everything part by part.
How to go through life as adoptee and hsp when your in your twenties. 