This Saturday I met my friends and we had a good time. Me and my friend went out at the club and I drank a lot. Then I got drunk and embarrassed myself I guess but I don’t remember everything….
Yesterday I wasn’t thaat hangover but now I got the flue and had to go home from work. And slept for three hours. Oh my god I hate this.
It feels so weird when an adoptee says “Yes I’m doing well here in Sweden and I don’t think about my homecountry or biological family, I am where I am”, I only accept that sentence when a person was adopted late and the family didn’t took care of the person but when I hear it from a person who was adopted as a baby, FOR GOD SAKE A WOMAN CARRIED YOU FOR 9 MONTHS AND THEN WENT THROUGH THE PAIN OF GIVING BIRTH TO YOU, AFTER THAT SHE WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU A BETTER LIFE.
And I feel like even though I was raised by my adoptive parents and I learned how to behave by them but I got my look from my birth mom and I got my bad temperament from her too. I am a mix of a colombian girl who was raised by the swedish values. It’s like an immigrant or a child to a immigrant, so I feel myself more like a colombian, maybe it is because I found my birth family and that I used to be with people from different countries. One of my best friends doesn’t see me like a swedish person. She sees me like a girl from another country who is like herself and I feel more comfortable with that and to be with people from other countries than to just being with swedish people.
Sorry sorry sorry, I just forget everything sometimes. Yesterday Colombia won against Japan and as usual my family was very happy. I love the dance the colombian players do when they scored. I actually started to study spanish by myself, so I wont forget the grammatical part. And I started to eat more lunch because I’m done with being hungry and being skinny. I think I’m allergic so I took some medicine but now I’m going to be tired because of the medicine.
I spent two days doing nothing special, and that brings many thoughts.Thoughts about what I’m going to do in the future, How I’m going to find my true love, how I’m keeping my shape and many thoughts about my family in Colombia. I feel so depressed sometimes, so jealous of others lives. I guess that you is your worst enemy, you are imaging that everybody else have better life than you but thats not true. Even though you know it isn’t true these thoughts will come back.
So decided to plan everyday until I’m starting to work and go to Colombia, I do also need to be more social hahah and that will make me happier. Tommorow I need to go to the gym because that keeps me more alert.
I have still mixed feelings about the graduation, I feel happy and relieved about not having to think about the school and the grades, I feel scared about not knowing what I should do in the future and I feel sad about that all this is over, maybe I won’t meet my school-mates and it’s a bit sad.
Hoy juega Colombia y todo mi familia va a ver el partido, después vamos a comer una cena muy rico. Ayer veía el partido entre España y Chile, es un poco triste que España no hizo algunos goles pero soy feliz por Chile. Pensaba que los dos equipos son muy bien.
Pero hoy es el partido más importante, si Colombia no gana voy a ser muy enfadada jajaja