Hate these tears

I decided to write a book about my life, I’ve just begun. So i had to think and remember the first time I met my biological for the first time. I needed to remember every little feeling I had back then. And it’s hard to look back at this because I was so happy with them and so sad when we left Colombia. I remember how much I cried on the flight home, I cried the whole flight from Bogota to Frankfurt, I slept very much but when I was awake I cried and was angry. When we was in Frankfurt and we were waiting for the flight to Denmark I cried even though it was my birthday. I even started to cry on the last flight. When we met my adoptive mom at the airport I cried and then I was happy I was home.

But when I went to sleep I continued to cry. I wasn’t myself the following weeks. And I didn’t find anything good in life in Sweden. If I didn’t went to school I should lay in bed. I guess I was depressed. I don’t cry as much as I did then but sometimes I miss them so much that I start to cry, the good memories make me cry because I had a good time.

Now I think it is healthy to cry but when I went to school I kept everything for myself until I couldn’t take it anymore. So I started to cry for a tiny little thing anyone said.

I guess my boyfriend saved me because for a while I was really depressed. I felt lonely and lost and I thought nobody understood my problems. But now I have other things to think about.

I can be happy because I know I will return to Colombia and I know what to do in the future. If you’re sad or depressed remember that soon everything will be better even though it can take a while.

A funny thing is that when I started to write this post I cried and I had to dry my nose and now I’m happy again and feel ready to go out with the dogs.