Be afraid of lose somebody

When I was maybe eleven years old, my grandfather got a heart attack. Luckily he survived. Me and my cousin and her family went to the hospital. My grandfather is a happy man who don’t worry about anything (like my dad) so he didn’t felt so bad for himself. But I saw the environment and it looked so miserable. However from that moment I started to think how devastated I would be if someone of my family and friends died.

Seven years later I found out that my grandfather (moms father) was ill in cancer, my mom didn’t want to worry us neither didn’t my grandfather. I never saw him at the hospital but I saw how tired he was after the operations. He survived from cancer as well.

The fact is that I am afraid to lose any relative, now my family is larger and that means that the risk of losing someone is larger. I already been through the death of the animals we had and it was tough. And I have been through the loss of my cousins mother (in Colombia) and my mothers cousin (in Colombia), and that made me very sad. I know that my grandparents can’t live forever and I know they take  some pills for the heart and etc. But when that day comes, I think I will not be able to focus on my life as I do now, I know that everyone will go through these things or already have been through these things but however I would rather die than see any relative die.

An adoptee has already been through a kind of loss, fortunately I found the family I lost. But that also means that now then I have my family as I wished and I couldn’t be happier, you know…after sun the rain comes. I just hope it’s not today or tomorrow or the next week, because I’m not ready.


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My name is Ebba Katherine, I was born in Colombia 1995, I'm writing about my life as adopted with two families.

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