To say goodbye

I literally hate to say goodbye, I hate when you know you’re not going to see that person for a while, even though that person is living nearby or far away, it’s so horrible. I been through it when I was going home from my cousin, I cried when I was in the car. Then I realized I couldn’t cry like that when we both are having our lives on different parts of the country.

The second time this happened to me was when I was on the hotel, the airport and my biological families home in Colombia. I knew the good time I had with them was over and I was frustrated over the fact that it was going to be like this the whole life, because I’m not completely in Sweden or Colombia. And well yeah I can solve that with trips to my home country but that isn’t going to solve it forever.

The third time. I was going home to Varberg from Helsingborg when I’ve been in Helsingborg during the christmas.  Both my dad and mom were at the train station to say goodbye. I admit it was easier to say goodbye to them since I can take the train home when I want. But when I know that I’m going home to an empty apartment, it’s a bit depressing.

The fourth time. It should not be as sad as leaving Colombia. But it is. when you meet that person who can make you do anything, you’ll understand. When I’m saying goodbye to that person after a weekend together, it feels like I’m about to lose that person forever or not going to meet that person anymore. I’m not over dramatic, I’m in love.

To summarize this. Feelings can be annoying sometimes. Sometimes I wish I couldn’t be in love, couldn’t cry over my lovely families. But I do also like the feeling you get when you finally meeting them after a long time. It could be after a week, after a month or after a year, I still like the feeling. I think the feelings make you feel human and it makes you feel alive. But when you feel the hard feelings you just wish you didn’t care about anyone. But I guess that’s hard.


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My name is Ebba Katherine, I was born in Colombia 1995, I'm writing about my life as adopted with two families.

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