What am I afraid of?
Feelings and getting feelings for someone
Because I know that it will hurt, feelings hurt no matter what you do, and the reason why I’m afraid of that is because I’m afraid of being abounded.
I’m still wondering why blood makes me wanna cry.
But you know what?
That ain’t going to stop me, some people are worth getting feelings for and I need to get used to blood as well. No fears ain’t gonna stop me from living.
I don’t know why but I’ve changed, of course I still have my dark time especially when I’m angry at everything. But I have a new way of thinking and that’s what changed me. Nothing can break me because I won’t let anything break me!
And I’ve met some new friends who I love !!
I’m angry, very angry, maybe you see when I’m smiling and when I’m laughing but when I’m all alone it is there. The anger.
I’m angry because last time I had feelings my heart was broken.
I’m angry because I’m too used with separation, I’m used to leave and say goodbye to the people I love.
I’m angry because people I’ve trusted left me.
I’m angry because my life isn’t what it should be.
So yeah it is hard to not be angry when I’m starting to like somebody I don’t trust.
And I am angry because I wish I didn’t have feelings at all.
Soon I’m going to my home country, that will be fun
Since I’ve been on this journey earlier I know how it will be when I leave and that’s why I can’t relax. I remember how much I cried on the way home, I remember how I cried when I was in Sweden, is it going to be like this all the time? Am I going to feel like shit for months because I know they will never live here or I will never live there?
My weekend was… Well full of shit, bad things and some good things. Things that make me question myself. Hmm but well… I guess my happy ending will come soon I hope.
And today I found out something that made me even more confused, and I can’t tell it yet but everything will be different.
I’m so happy for one of my oldest friend who are going to work in Spain.