I must say that I’m happy about how my life is right now, except a few things 1. I act without think about what i’m doing 2. I’m too afraid to take risks, so when I don’t know if I’m going to lose or win on it I would rather not take that risk. 3. There are little restless thing in my head who always want to do something and when I don’t do anything I get anxious.
And yeah when you read 1 and 2 you’ll not understand because it’s like they talk against each other. But when it’s about real things when I need to take risks, I would rather not take any risk. And when I do things without thinking it’s because of that restless thing in my head, like I always need some adventure in my life. After a while I’ll have bad conscience because what I did was either really stupid (when I cut my hair) or I feel bad because I’m afraid that I hurt someone.
And since five months ago I’ve promised myself to not treat anybody that way I was treated.
So now I’m here angry at myself because I do so stupid things and I can be so stupid, so blind.
And my problem is also that I worry too much about everything so I guess I just need to not think too much.