I’ve been through a lot since I left my parents to live on my own. I remember the first night alone, I felt so lonely and lost, I didn’t know what to do and how to do things. The first months it felt like I lived another girl’s life, like I was going to return to that safe house on the street where I’ve always been living. I was worried about how everything would be without a mom who could help me study or a dad who said when I should study.
It made me depressed. And I wanted to move back to mom and dad, I wanted to do what I did before. I don’t like changes and this change made me feel so lost.
After a while I realised that I was responsible over myself, I needed to take care of myself I could live after my own rules, I was free. I could live my life and have fun without any parents judging me (so I could hear it).
But that didn’t make me feel better since I so wanted to live on my own and be independent but I couldn’t do certain things on my own. I was stressed and many things happened as well, bad things. I wanted to drink the sadness away but it was a bad idea because when I came home at night and was alone or was with someone, I started to cry.
So what have I learned?
I need to ask people for help sometimes, not anyone can handle everything by themselves, they need to share it with anyone. So now I talk with my mom, sister, grandmother and friends when something makes me feel upset.
During this time I have changed in many ways. I was at the supermarket with my dad, we were buying some food and he asked me if I wanted some ham to breakfast, and I said “No… In Varberg I eat more vegetarian, I only eat chicken (as meat)”. That was one of many examples of how I changed. I’m happy for who I am and I’m ready for next chapter.