My life these weeks

  • Last week it was five years ago since I found my biological mom on Facebook, five years since I cried of happiness. Of course I miss them everyday and I can’t go a day without thinking about them but now I know where they are and I can talk to them everyday thanks to the internet.
  • Varberg choir festival- Is a festival for all choirs and it was this weekend. I was very happy to be a part of this. My mom, dad, sister and grandmother came to Varberg to hear me and all the choirs and I missed them so much so I was very happy to meet them.
  • I’m not single anymore, I met a beautiful and handsome guy and I fell so fast for him and we can’t go a day without talking to each other. He makes me so happy!

I fell slowly and then all at once

I can’t believe how happy I am. I only need one look from him to know that I’m alive. ¬†Everybody are so surprised that it took a few weeks for us to fall in love with each other and I’m little surprised myself. So that’s whats up. And of course I have a lot to study until I can take a little break. But I already feel the heath of the summer and I can here the sound of happy people so my favourite time of the year is here and I couldn’t be happier.

Insecurity

I hate the fact that I can’t go on with my education because om not secure on my leader role. The teacher tells me that I need to believe more in myself and be more secure about myself. But I get so insecure about myself and doubt if I even going to fit in like a kindergarten teacher. What if I need to think about another profession, what if I need to start over and study to something else, what if I need to move from my friends and my love?

So yeah except that I’m totally in love, I’m also very worried about my future. I guess everything will be ok but I don’t know…

Everything is great even if everything is falling apart

I think the love-god hit me in the head pretty hard since I can’t stop being so happy and positive even though my life doesn’t look good right now. I’m still searching for a job this summer and I don’t know if or when I will find a job after the summer. On top of that I’m so frustrated that I live so freaking far away from Colombia because all I wanna do is going to Colombia. At least the positive thing in my life is that I can’t stop smiling and I can’t scream in a girly way. Even though I’m going to be without money, I’m at least happy…. very happy!

When I know I just know

I was at the mall with my mom, she asked me what kinds of shoes I want and I answered “I know it when I see them”. I bought some gold adidas-shoes, typical Ebba-shoes.

I was in France with my grandmother, she found a bag and she wasn’t sure if she should buy that bag, so I told her “Do you love this bag like really love it, like you will use it everyday because it’s outstanding?” And she answered me “No… maybe not”.

The real life is like that, I didn’t know who I wanted, I met a few and they were okay but not what I wanted, I thought it was what I wanted because I haven’t experienced the feeling of really wanting someone. Now I found these outstanding adidas-shoes, but in a person. I want him and I knew it as soon as I saw him.

Lose control and let it happen

Sometimes you need to accept the fact that you can’t have control over everything in your life. Bad and good things will happen without being prepared. Eight months ago my grandfather died. I was stressed over school and I was happy that he were going home from the hospital. The day was weird because I’ve heard about a girl in my class that heard that her grandfather died. I thought that will not happen to my grandfather. The same day I sat in front of the tv and ate lunch when my father called. It was a total choque for me and I cried for days and months. Now I at least can talk about him without crying. 

Happy things can happen too, just let it happen.

My uncle got engaged a week ago and I cried of joy and a bit sadness because my grandfather will never see it but I’m convinced that he always will be with us and I’m a bit calmer when my grandmother told me that my grandfather knew that my uncle were going to get married soon.

Siblings

I think I need to bring something up that don’t make me depressed or sad. My siblings! I love how our relation is. We’re joking around, we can make each other angry but not that angry so we will stop talk to each other.

The most important we three will always love each other and be there for each other !