Hello, how are you? I’m exhausted. Yesterday my social anxiety had a fight with Ed Sheeran. Wow how? Maybe you think. Well… as you know I don’t feel comfortable with big crowds and I am as you know a highly sensitive person with all that means. I really love Ed Sheeran and his songs so I wanted to go near the stage together with my best friend Sara. The more crowded it started to be the more uncomfortable I was. At the end I was about to faint and I just wanted to find an exit but I stood in the middle and couldn’t go out. I just want to say and promise myself that the next time I’ll go to a concert I will buy tickets for seats. I want to sleep right now because my brain is an emotional mess but I loved the concert. Thank you Ed Sheeran, Anne Marie and Jamie Lawson for an amazing concert!
Discussion came naturally to me. I grew up in a family where they discussed everything, I were afraid they hated each other but soon I learned that people can discuss things without getting angry at each other. From the day I understood what people talked about I’ve learned that you need to stand for your own opinions.
When I grew up I was the black sheep in the family or I felt like it. That’s why I am used to discuss for what I feel and think because no one will ever read my thoughts, not even my sister.
Maybe that’s why I write so much about my opinions, I’ve always been the quiet and un rebellious child. Maybe this is my way rebellious time. That I’m going to make people hear me without caring what the others think. No I don’t care what my family think because I know they will love me even though I do as they say or going my own way. Who says you should be like your parents when you’re your own person.
I’m a wreck, a body full of mood swings. I cried yesterday, I didn’t know why but I told my boyfriend I was tired of everything, the day before I was so angry I could kill someone with my bare hands. Well you know what? It’s that week of the month and everything triggers me. Men with a bad attitude, an unfair soccer game, racists, people being critical to wrong team and my allergies. At least I’m trying to make this to a positive thing since I have a great flow of writing. I write my opinions about everything and it feels so good to write. However I hope my cramps will go away (please?).
She understands 20% of what’s going on but she’s very understanding!
The time passes by and suddenly there’s three weeks left to the Colombia trip. I’m excited but nervous, one part of my brain says “you have done this before it is nothing to be nervous about” and the other part says “What if something happens on the way, what if everything not is as great as I thought what if…”. Right now I’m trying to listen to the positive part of my brain because I know that the negative part only want to ruin everything for me. I have missed them all so much, I would love to be with them for real and not through whatsapp. When I have been there I will have happiness for a whole year because Colombia equals happiness.
In Sweden we celebrate midsummer. I don’t really know why we celebrate it but use to sing and dance around a grass thing that looks like something else. During the evenings we eat fish and potatoes and then other food. To that we drink liquor that taste worse than medicine for your neck but we do that with joy. We sing songs before drinking it.
Sometimes we drink a little to much of these so we get drunk and our singing voice sounds worse the more the time goes.
Sometimes girls pick seven kinds of flowers to lay under the pillow. Then they will dream who they will marry.
This year I celebrated the tradition with my boyfriend and his family and their friends. Yes at the end of the evening I was a bit drunk but I had a good time! I must say that I like our traditions even though they are a bit similar to each other.
Behind me there is a sign that says “You are a fine human “.
What I’ve learnt is that you can’t let days pass without you enjoying the good parts for that day. I have a distance relationship and maybe that’s why I try to live for the moment, you need to save the good memories to your memory so you can think of it and smile during the grey days.
For example even though it’s descent weather and I’ve got a cold I try enjoy that…
– …I’ve had a good day.
-…. I can spend some time with my sister.
-…. I can relax in front of the tv watching World Cup.
Find three positive things that happen everyday and you’ll value your life more!
If you save some, you’ll get some, like the chocolate I saved in my fridge.
It’s World Cup and I’m stuck in front of the tv. Soccer is something I have grown up with and it is big in both of my countries. Both Colombia and Sweden are qualified to world cup which mean that if I’m not working, I’m going to sit, stand or lay in front of the tv. I hope my future children will be as interested about soccer as me, they don’t have to play soccer (if they do it will be great though) because I’ve never liked to play soccer, serious soccer, like real serious soccer games. The only thing I will ask for is if they watch every world cup game with me like a tradition!