The things we need to do in our internship is hard especially when some of us are introvert. You maybe wonder why I want to be a kindergarten teacher if it is so difficult and make me want to sleep my whole free time. Well, I love children and I love to help children and be a part of their lives. What is life without challenges?
My challenge is to talk with the other kindergarten teachers, to be the leader in the group of children and to talk with the children’s parents. Maybe you think… well that’s super easy! Not for me.
The kindergarten teacher who is going to set a grade on me and see if I will pass this examination said that she was like me. The trick is to playing a role like actresses play characters I will pretend that I’m a kindergarten teacher. When I go through those gates I will focus on being the kindergarten teacher Ebba and not not ebba- the little girl with a lot of problems.
I remember when I wrote that I can be two different persons when I speak Spanish and Swedish. This will be the same, I will speak kindergarten-isch.
I’m just writing this to persuade my brain that I can do this.
Tonight I’m showing my tongue to the brain monsters that want me to give up and run away.
I am very very very tired and I’m very hard working at the kindergarten doing my internship. My neck is broken (can’t sing nor talk loudly ) and I fell asleep when I came home from the daily walk with the dog. I needed to force myself to go up from the bed and cook some dinner. When I’ve done the important things for the night I went back to sleep. Mission completed now I can go back to being the lazy Ebba you all know. Yesterday I called a radio program to talk about my experience with adoption. That was the most spontaneous I’ve done since I wrote to my boyfriend that I was very sure he was my blind date and that we should go on a date.
Goodnight lovely readers!
I am so exhausted of not being able to go to the kindergarten because I’m ill. The positive thing is that it can only get better. However I had a great weekend with my family and my boyfriend and I’m ready for the week (if I feel a little bit better). I’m glad that I’m surrounded by beautiful people and that my boyfriend don’t get bored when I don’t have the energy to do anything, yes it is so sad that I am more worried about him than myself who vomited and didn’t eat anything. However I feel better now I just need to start eating more than a toast and soup.
I need to bring up this. A woman is a mom, a daughter, a girlfriend, a friend, a college and a grandmother. The international day of women exist because some people don’t know that you should treat people equally no matter gender. They don’t know that you can’t write to a woman that you want to rape this woman, they don’t know that you shouldn’t lay a hand on a woman’s pants or inside the pants when you’re at the club, Some people don’t know that a no is a no. Women and men don’t have the same salary even though they don’t do the same job. Women in some countries are not able to choose what they want to do in their lives. Some woman are forced to give birth to a baby that is made through a rape. Do you think this sounds right to you ? No that’s what I thought. It is 2018 and it should be obvious that women should be treated just like men, think how you talk and treat your mom, grandmother, friend, girlfriend and college . Because it always starts with you to make a change.
I’m just human, my flaws, my mistakes and my doubts are parts of me and make the person who I am. I cry not because I’m overreacting, I cry because I feel like giving up, I feel like running away, hide until everything is over. Sometimes I wish that a robot could do everything that is difficult so I could do what makes me happy. Sometimes I admit to myself that this person, this little girl inside of me wants affection and understanding. She is tired of that I-Can-Do-Everything-By-Myself-Ebba to control her life.
Today is the day when I realized that I need to cry, I need to share my worries so I don’t have to solve everything by myself. I can’t fix everything by myself, who can that? I finally reached out for some help.
During this time when I’ve felt like a crushed garlic I am happy that I’ve got my boyfriend. We support each other, we are there for each other and we motivate each other. I would have given up if it wasn’t for him, he makes me want to try again until I succeed.
I’m glad for that I decided to share the fact that I don’t feel quite good with some other important people in my life. Thanks to that I can dump some of my worries and keep trying until I succeed.
Okay, the winter will not disappear and I will use my winter shoes until June I guess. I shouldn’t complain because I like how everything is white, the only thing I hate is when the snow melts.
However this day was messy, I had one lecture in school at 2:45 pm for about 45 minutes. Now I’m sitting here in the school library trying to plan everything so I can pass this semester for once. So how’s your day and how was your weekend?
So you can be a part of my brilliant extraordinary life (or not) I will now show you what I will be doing this week:
This day is so weird but I will study a bit here so I can go home, eat something and cook some lunch for tomorrow. I hope I will have time to do some yoga.
This day will be one of the reasons why I’m studying like a maniac. I will be at the kindergarten, a normal day at the kindergarten, a perfect day at the kindergarten. Well they don’t exist because every day at the kindergarten is unique.
First the kindergarten and then the choir, that’s why I love Wednesdays!
Since this is the only day I will not be in the kindergarten except the Monday. I will buy a birthday gift for my family friend/extra sister Maria who will be 19 this year, gosh they grow up so fast! Since I hope I will have a drivers license in my hand soon I hope I will get some time for that.
KINDERGARTEN and I’m going to my parents since Maria almost is their neighbor.
I will meet some of the people that I love, how great isn’t that ?
Well… back to the studies ….