Frustration and emptiness

I’m eighteen years old and came from Colombia to Sweden when I was about four months. I am happy for the decision my biological mom took to give me away, because she did it for me. My childhood was pretty good because I have two adoptive siblings who are from Colombia too and can share this experience. But I’ve been thinking very much about where I am coming from and kind of missed my family in Colombia. 2012 was the year I found my biological mom and I’ also visited my family in Colombia. I don’t see myself like Swedish anymore, I see myself like a Colombian and I start to question this about adoption, I’m frustrated because as an adoptee you can’t choose, you’re growing up in Sweden even though you don’t want it.

This is a text I wrote as a comment on Facebook, it’s true. I start to doubt why everybody is thinking that I should live in Sweden my whole life. What if I don’t want that? What if I want to live in the country I belong to.